They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
