god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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