I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
