drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize