i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
