jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize