just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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