i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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