you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
