What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
