Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
