I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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