He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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