Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize