So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
