I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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