Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I wish i was in the wii world.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
where are my eyebrows?
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