i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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