You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
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I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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