I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize