"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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