Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
he fucked my hip out of place.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
