guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
