trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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