Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
