Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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