She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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