I look better un-naked...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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