i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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