She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
