yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
