I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you had me at cake vodka
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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