sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
