You're so nebulous sometimes
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
