i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
