It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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