i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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