Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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