I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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