I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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