My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i came on her dog
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
