Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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