I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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