Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
