: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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