She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
