Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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