apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
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I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
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Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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