is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
