would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
