My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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