I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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