Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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