Well apparently he's into motor boating.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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