You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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