i may or may not be watching the land before time
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
