she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize