i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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