Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
