Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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