I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
