I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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