You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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